The Light Brigade Lantern is a series of satire based on true events in our local and state governments.
I came up with it to help share the facts of a true story with a twist of humor and how I saw it from a different perspective that made me laugh.
You will find sources on which that this satire article was based from throughout. Enjoy!
Butte County, SD swore in a new commissioner on January 6, 2023 along with two who were re-elected. James Ager and Frank Walton sought re-election and won, while Chad Erk is new to the scene of county commissioners. The most confusing part of this is Karrol Herman was under the impression that every swearing in that happens is a royal coronation that involves her every time as well. While Chad Erk came dressed in expected clothing befitting a rancher: nice cowboy shirt, jeans and boots, along with any materials necessary for reference while at a commission meeting, James Ager and Karrol Herman came dressed in royal clothing complete with their very own crowns made especially for themselves. Citizens attending the swearing in weren’t sure if they got the right location for the meeting or if they ended up in a place where L.A.R.P.s were meeting.
James Ager came slowly and solemnly marching in, with an attendant holding the crown, while he held a King James Bible, stating it was named after him, therefore he wanted to use it for being sworn in. His name plate came complete with diamonds, emeralds and flashing lights and read, “Sir Royal King Commish James” with attendants holding large leaves prepared to fan him to keep him cool.
Karrol Herman came in wearing a gown that can be compared only to Queen Elizabeth herself, and also had attendants holding her crown and prepped with large leaves to fan her when she sat in her chair, which was made of soft fur and lined with gems. Her nameplate read, “The Queen Karrol Herman of Butte County, In Service to the Peasants Forthwith.”
Frank Walton seemed as if he didn’t really care either way, and was ready to just get on with the meeting.
Everyone else looked a bit confused while the other county government officials acted as if everything was normal, offering to hold the crowns and see if the commissioners needed anything to help them be more comfortable in all of their garb, not wanting risk smaller budgets by acknowledging the hilarious spectacle.
Finally, the judge swearing them in came in and asked, “What in the world is going on here?” James Ager replied, “I’m here for the coronation, good sir.” The judge said, “This is a swearing in for county commissioner. Take that off and let’s get to work.”
Karrol Herman was shocked that the judge would say such disrespectful things to them and said, “Look here, we are elected officials and therefore can dress however we want! Now, BRING ME MY CROWN!”
Citizens in attendance started murmuring among themselves to which James and Karrol started chanting, “We are duly elected officials! We are duly elected officials!” They crowned themselves, despite the citizens noting how this is America and not Great Britain, asking for professionalism to be brought back to county commission meetings, with Chad Erk being the only one who seems to be able to do so. In response to the citizens increasingly noting that this is indeed America and not Great Britain, James and Karrol had them removed, with their fellow government officials obediently obeying.
*The featured image is a painting of Paul Revere by Edward Mason Eggleston